October 31st, 2008

Some of you might be annoyed at my bitch-fest, but I thought it important to note how one sees things after putting on godzilla colored glasses. So even though the relationship of those articles to Japan might be slightly tenuous be happy I didn’t decide to start bitching about something else, like politics. Not to worry; this fest-bitch is not going to congeal into a huge ball of angry loser that won’t shutup. However, there are still some irk-points that must be talked about, though these are of a different sort than the previous three posts.

Cultures tend to borrow things from other cultures. Sometimes these things aren’t actually borrowed, but fully assimilated as they were in the originating culture; other times the resulting product is a beast with 4 heads, 7 teeth, the brain of a creationist, and Alan Cummings. Sometimes these mashups are interesting and create a new movement that increases the value of R, the measure of awesomeness in the universe. So these amalgamations aren’t inherently bad and Japan and the US have both gave us some good examples. Although concoctions such as these can end up flaccid, but there are some borrowings that have taken from our Masta Killa to the east that we have, unfortunately, done dumb, and unnecessary, things to. These are their stories:

Green Tea
I take teabags from hotels and companies that naively leave them out for everyone to use. I have strangled children just so that I can find their stash of tea and devour it ever so slowly. Let’s just say that I like my tea, a lot. Now I’m not one to scoff at sugar/sweetener in tea, except sweet tea, which does not deserve to be called tea, but when a particular brand of tea does not include any sweetener why do the shitty companies that make tea, which is all the brands that you would find in a convenience store or vending machine, decide that the green tea that they sell must not only be sweet, but include two sweeteners? I shit you not. After water, the next two ingredients in all of the chilled green teas that you find in most parts of this country are HFCS and sugar.

Who thought this was a good idea? I can’t hardly tell the difference between “green tea” and any of the other teas that they sell since the actual taste of green tea is completely masked by all of the sugar. If you go buy(rent?) an asian hooker you don’t then go and find a human sized paper bag to put over her so that you can gaze at her brown, pulpy mounds and not have to worry about experiencing anything different than normal, only that your friends might think that you now have a paper bag fetish.

Japanese words in the English language
There are some and they’re generally spoken quite correctly (Ninja, Sumo, etc), but there are some that are butchered, torture porn style; consonants are changed, seemingly randomly, which disconnects how you write the word and how you say it. That’s not too bad except that I still don’t get how you can ever come up with how it’s said from how it’s wrote, it just does not compute.

Sake - pronounced Sah key - correct pronunciation Sah kay
What it means when you say it incorrectly - a bunch of different things
Are there any sounds which are written as “ke” but are pronounced “key” in English? If there are, I can’t think of them offhand. Now if it was common or a rule in English I wouldn’t have much of a problem.

Karaoke - pronounced Ker E oh key - correct pronunciation Ka rah oh kay
What it means when you say it incorrectly - jibberish (no, not the word itself)
That mysterious “key” sound comes back, which, in a way, is comforting; at least there are traces of a rule. But there’s another thing changed in this word because, apparently, having one sound that is divorced from its writing is not enough. So how exactly does one get a “ri” sound out or “ra”? I would love to know.

Kamikaze - pronounced Kah mah kah zi - correct pronunciation Kah me kah zay
What it means when you say it incorrectly - a number of things, but maybe the first thing they would think would be “boiler fire”
Ok, last one. Again with the crazy sound changes, which I don’t get.

I would like to know how all of these things got started so that I could go back and time and murder them in the womb, but I have a feeling that isn’t going to happen.

September 30th, 2008

I hope you don’t think I’m done with my “America Bashing”, I’m not. There are more things that catch you off guard when you visit/move (back) to this land of milk and golden corn syrup.

Even if you only know a little about Japan, chances are good that you know the Japanese flag. Well, if you go to Japan it’s possible that you may never see an actual Japanese flag (or miss seeing the one or two that were actually up). What a completely different situation it is when you come to the US. The number of flags that some people display is staggering. And on the off chance that you don’t see someone with a flag, there’s a chance that they have something (or many things) that are red white and blue. Flags are displayed prominently on cars, in front of houses, on bikinis, as window stickers, and probably many other places.


Flags. There’s no place you can’t put them.

There are at least a half dozen flags (of varying sizes) in front of my parents’ house. Now this is all a little showy, but you wouldn’t really know it unless if you go somewhere else so that you have some kind of frame of reference. It can be quite surprising to find how infrequent a flag sighting can be in some countries. That is not to say that the US is alone in this regard or that you can’t find another country where a large number of home and businesses fly the country’s flag; what is different is the fervor put into the waving. This definitely isn’t something that is solely an American thing. For most countries it’s usually something that a small minority of their citizens do, but a few countries lead the pack in this area. The top dogs seem to be USA and China and given what’s happened this summer it looks like China might actually be #1; yet this is not a competition that many would like to win.


I rule. You suck. La la la.

Patriotism is fine, but it’s gone a little overboard when you get the “my country right or wrong” jingoist attitude that is often celebrated by many of the citizens of those two countries. In fact, since I had nothing else to go by I thought that this was standard fare. Little did I know that what many people consider patriotism is nothing like what I used to.

Patriotism in most places is a love of the country where you live and the feeling that, while there are nice places the world over, you have reasons for preferring this country over others. However, for many people in America patriotism is that the US is always right, always blessed by god, the best (healthcare, prosperity, etc) , but also that, in a sense, it’s a beacon of democracy in a world of shit. While I can in some sense understand where the first three come from I never really got how or why people can believe, to whatever degree, the final point, but I’ve seen it enough to know that it’s not a freak occurrence. I would find it sad if it wasn’t something ridiculously frightening in so many ways: the logical disconnect, the lack of a good grasp on the actual facts, the blind acceptance.

Don’t confuse this with nationalism (seen often in France, Japan, etc) which, for the most part, isn’t nearly as bad.

September 1st, 2008

I sometimes wonder if there is someone who came from Europe or Asia and moved to the US to do studies much like Jane Goodall, watching Americans from the treetops or from behind a water cooler. It could be happening right now, but I wouldn’t know as I’m one of those dumb chimpanzees being watched. Anyways, if you really want to be shocked/interested about the things that happen in Jesusland you have to actually leave an airport to get the desired effect.


I’d never work with monkeys if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m surrounded by them.

Ruling out New York City, Chicago, Boston, Seattle, Portland, DC (to some degree) and maybe San Francisco, you immediately realize that to do anything that requires you to leave your residence will likely require you to use a vehicle, if you have one. Grocery store? Drive. Visit a friend? Drive. Go shopping? Drive. Work? There’s that car thing again. Yes, there are circumstances where one of these things might be possible for someone, but, just as the level 3 Wizard of Anecdotes always loses to the level 47 Demon of Obvious Truth, if you’re outside of the handful of exceptions you have little choice.

However, it’s not just the fact that you will most likely need to ride in a car, but that everything is so far away from everything else. It might seem like I’m repeating myself here, but there is a slight difference in the two points; the former relates to the lack of available or decent mass transportation and the latter is that the distance between building/places makes walking untenable in most places. Those living across one of the ponds that flank us on either side, even if they have one, probably don’t have to use a car if they feel like they want to leave their house.

There are a few of reasons why things are like this over here, cheap dinosaur juice, Mamie’s baby’s daddy, and the American wet dream. I think the first one is self explanatory enough and in and of itself doesn’t produce a transportation system like the one found in the US. Eisenhower’s plan did have a huge effect on the development of not only the transportation system of “the city on the hill” but also led to an increase of the development of suburbs, which is also related to the third point. Lots of people in the US need to have lots of land, but I don’t know why they want it. I think that a lot of people must get some kind of orgasmic feeling from cutting the grass since you hardly see anyone do anything else with their yards. I’m not so sure about the orgasmic feeling though, I’ve never felt it and I think it’s because of some defect on my part. Nonetheless, we’ve had this hunger to have lots of land and be far away from each other for a long time. Maybe we’re land zombies?


Drink it up, that’s real dino tendon.

And seeing that this is the land of the comb over eagle, we can’t really have a good mass transportation system as that’s socialist (but the government using taxes to makes roads somehow isn’t) and anti-American so we all must drive 30 minutes to go to the mall and over an hour to get to work, for freedom.

August 26th, 2008

I know that some of you have been outside of the US before, but how long were you gone? A week, maybe 2? Nevertheless, the amount of time you were away was probably not long enough to properly disconnect yourself from the drunk topless whore with a gun that is the US (she always shows up at your door at 3am with speed in her hand and her pants around her ankles). Then again you might not even be in/from the US, if that’s so then just disregard this part completely.


The reason America puts HCFS in everything is to make a new type of soldier that will help cement their plans for world domination.

So with America properly purged from my system I went home. There is some shock at the airport, but when you’re getting a connecting flight to somewhere you’re stuck in your own little cordoned off environment which protects you for a couple more hours. But, for me, the first bit of reverse culture shock came with a sip. Food choice in airports varies little and in the US you’re usually given the choice of pastries, food court, or somewhere like Applebees. Being cheap, I went with McDonalds, which was fine, but I made the horrible mistake of choosing to drink a Coke.

If you go overseas for a while and are able to drink a soft drink from somewhere that is the US, you will realize that there is major difference between the two, the sweetener. Because of subsidies for corn, they put HCFS in Coke instead of sugar. When you aren’t used to drinking/eating the American version of something, the HCFS version tastes slightly off and leaves a coating of freedom in your mouth that you can’t get rid of since all you have to drink is this crap they call soda/pop. Luckily I had $1.05 on me.


The coat of freedom gives +2 to bust size.

The other thing that you immediately are aware of is that everyone around you is speaking the same language you are and, therefore, can understand what you say. When you live somewhere where you essentially have your own little secret language that you share with a small minority of the population you become quite acclimated to it and, maybe eventually, prefer it over having everyone around you speak your mother tongue. I was speaking to a Swedish guy in a train about this and he agreed with me. His justification of it was that when he was on the trains in Amsterdam, where he was going to art school, and he saw a cute guy he liked he didn’t have to whisper to his friend, they could just talk in Swedish.


Unfortunately the coat of freedom is also cursed and adds +5 to weight per turn.

Well, when your secret language is abruptly taken from you it’s very disquieting. To give an analogy, it’s similar to an episode of Oprah I watched a long time ago. A woman hadn’t cut her hair in over a decade and her family, in their deep and never-ending love, made her get her hair cut on the show. After the hair cut she was standing in front of the audience with a took of fear, like the audience weren’t really women with overflowing levels of estrogen, but they were actually ravenous lizard people that were going to devour her alive after the cameras stopped rolling. Since I don’t think she played football or received a flurry of blows to the head she probably didn’t think they were lizard people, but you get a similar sort of reaction when you realize that you have just been transported to a place where everyone can understand what you say, maybe, and you might have to start using your brain-mouth filter a little more often.

August 19th, 2008

Over the past week, I’ve been doing something very very bad, I’ve been taking hits of teaching. Luckily my parents haven’t noticed the telltale signs of freebasing English, so I’m OK.

While I was riding the wave I got the 17 kids I managed to steal to add words to some Penny Arcade comics. This isn’t the first time this has been done so I’m not going to take credit for the idea, but I really wanted to see what they’d come up with and using Hi & Lois as a jumping point just seemed a little unnatural.

So below is 17 comics, one from each student. I hope you like them. If you don’t, then I’ll punch you very very hard, in my imagination.

August 7th, 2008

3. Honne and Tatemae

There is the way things are and the way we’d like them to be. The reality and the facade. The real reason and the pretext. The substance and the form. Being direct and being diplomatic. And the truth and the white lie. In short, that is honne and tatemae, respectively. Since avoiding conflict and trouble is extremely important in Japan, using diplomatic language is often used rather than the direct approach. It’s said that in formal situations a direct “No” is avoided and there are a thousand nicer alternatives — which can be true, but it depends a lot on the situation and social status of the parties involved. Some westerners unfairly call this deceptive, but this shows more ignorance of how the culture and language are intertwined.

Japanese may say things very politely and vaguely, but if the meaning is not clear it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for clarification. But while we in the west judge tatemae to be cake icing and hypocrisy, the Japanese have elavated it into an art. Sometimes, anyway. When it comes to creating a reason, in some cases the Japanese seem to have left their reasoning on Pluto. Like blocking European ski equipment from the Japanese market because “Japanese snow is different”. In fact, almost every “reason” for not importing foreign goods is crammed full of it. While many so-called Japan “experts” tell the world about how much Japanese stress “harmony”, the reality is that they push THE IMAGE OF harmony. What lies beneath may be completely different.

“Let’s have dinner together sometime.” — A Culture Clash

In the west when someone says to another “let’s have dinner together sometime”, it usually means “let’s have dinner together sometime”. Sounds like an invitation, doesn’t it? And if you’re new in town, don’t have a lot of friends yet, or looking for a date, it sounds even better. Unfortunately, if a Japanese person says that or “come over to my place sometime” to you, what he/she really might mean is “I hope we get along well together.” Is that more than a little confusing? I had 2 big shocks from this myself. When I first started working at a company, I had one secretary (the cute one everybody wanted to date) tell me this. Now, if the other 5 or 6 secretaries all said the same thing to me as a matter of etiquette, I would’ve caught on immediately. But only one did, and after agreeing on a date and time, I got stood up. I dismissed it as a misunderstanding, but when a similar situation occured again later, I finally got the message. So let this be a warning — take offers with a pillar of salt. Unless specifics like a date and time are mentioned, don’t hold your breath. If you’re really interested, leave your phone number, tell the person to call you anytime, but don’t sit waiting by the phone Saturday night.

Once you adjust your thinking from romance language syntax (subject-verb-object) to the Japanese syntax (subject-object-verb), Japanese is easy to learn. Understanding it is a different matter though. How’s that? In Japan, a part of tatemae is speaking diplomatically, and what is not said may be more important than what is. There are also a certain number of fixed phrases that translated directly don’t mean a lot. “That’s a little difficult” (Sore wa chotto muzukashii) really means “No way!”. “I’ll think about it” (Kangaete okimasu) is a declination or refusal. And “Yoroshiku o-negai shimasu” can mean “pleased to meet you”, “with my best regards”, or “I leave it in your hands, please do your best”. Why don’t they just say “no” when they mean no, you ask? How western of you. We might like it more but in Japan it’s not part of the culture — besides that, there’s always a 1 in 100 chance that the situation might change and then you might say yes — so why burn your bridges behind you?

4. Osekkai! — Mind Your Own Business!

Japanese society has two concurrent streams that frequently bump heads and the result as you can guess is tension and stress. One current is protecting your own privacy, following your dream, and doing things your own way at your own pace. Facing this is the overwhelming social pressure to conform, follow the rules, and make sure everyone else is in the same boat as you. With big Japanese cities having extemely high population densities, personal space is scarce, and with little space in front of you many Japanese retreat to the only space they can; inside their heads. Becoming introverted, shy and withdrawn is not atypical. There are exceptions to this of course; some young people love to associate with westerners because of this and they can more freely express themselves and not have to worry about being looked down as too gregarious. Liquor consumption is also high in Japan and used as a social lubricant to loosen up. But privacy in Japan is a precious commodity, more for cultural than demographic reasons, and nobody likes someone to butt into your life.

Unfortunately pushing everyone to conform often does just that, and many Japanese take it upon themselves to make sure everyone is in lock-step with one another. Most often, like many things in Japan it is done indirectly, such as through gossiping, backbiting and meddling. Hence in Japanese there’s a plethora of terms referring to a nosy busybody, such as osekkai, sewa yaki, kansho-zuki, yakkai na sewa, and deshabari. This is viewed in different ways of course. In the ivory tower books on Japan there is the company superior who is also your counselor, paving your way to a better future, getting that reservation at a popular place or bank loan for you, etc. But there may also be the company autocrat who tries to know everything about you to manipulate you or run your social life, and for women can even cross the line into sexual harassment (seku hara).

August 5th, 2008

I found a website that talks about some different things that relates to Japan and how the society is run. Unfortunately the author hates people to read their work as it’s white on black, which makes your eyes hurt, and they conserve paragraphs as if they’re near extinction and should not be murdered just for the point of making something more readable. So for about 3 or so more posts (maybe more), I’ll be showing you what’s on that website, but not in such an eye damaging manner.

1. Uchi-Soto (”Us and Them”)

This is one of the first things you will notice about the Japanese. The Japanese have been raised to think of themselves as part of a group, and their group is always dealing with other groups. This is viewed on many angles — internationally it is “We Japanese” vs. everyone else (more on that later), but in schools, companies, sections of companies etc. there are many groups and sub-groups — and not always in perfect harmony and cooperation as it may look on the surface. Dealing with Japanese on a one-to-one basis usually comes very easy to non-Japanese, but dealing with Japanese as a group can be a different matter altogether. And no matter how nice you are, or how good your Japanese becomes, you will always be treated as an outsider. In fact the literal meaning of “gaijin” is outsider.

Many westerners see Japanese as aloof, shy, and always walking on eggshells. There is a lot of truth in that — Japanese are extremely sensitive to what others might think of them (or worse — what they say behind their backs, and Japanese really do engage in gossip) and are very hesitant to do something new, different, or independent. Being ostracized is one of the worst things that can happen to a Japanese, who is raised to be part of a group and depend on others. Therefore, when making requests, it often takes more time since the person asked usually consults others in the group to reach a consensus. It also might interfere with what your goals are — when teaching an English class a teacher gave some subjects for the students to debate. Of course the goal was for the students to use as much English as possible and improve their abilities. But what happened was the students reverted to their old habits and tried to compromise and reach a consensus — in which case, the debate promptly ended.

In short, however, while the westerner starts so many sentences with “I”, the Japanese “I” usually means “with the approval of the group”. This is not to pass judgement on this trait, as in many things there are both positive and negative aspects. For the westerner, it can be good in that you are often not subject to what sometimes becomes excessive, even oppressive methodologies. On the negative side, even if you do find a group or niche that you want to be in, you may be frozen out or the last one to find out about many decisions that profoundly affect your schedule and work.

Uchi-soto has one other important trait — there are next to no strikes in Japan. Ever. Because Japanese labour-management relations are better? Partly, yes. But in Japan there are almost no unions like the Teamsters or AFL-CIO. But each large corporation has its own union, and they feel no bond with other company unions even if they’re doing the same work. In one sense, the company union is almost a puppet, led by a management executive. But in another, everyone in a Japanese company knows that to succeed they need to act together, and being profitable in the long run is the only way to guarantee employment. You don’t see a lot of the friction between labour and management in Japanese firms — one reason is that the workers often cave in since they know a profitable company eventually benefits them. Another is that they know the CEO and execs don’t make 100 times the money the workers do, or $2500-$5000 per hour (That’s no exaggeration either — you do the math.)

2. The Gaijin Complex

How Japanese view non-Japanese is always a subject of debate. Often there is a mixture of admiration, suspicion, and most often a lot of nervousness about dealing with someone who doesn’t look or act like the Japanese. As stated in the Japan FAQ, it is very hard for non-Japanese to get an apartment, or a loan, credit card, etc. There is no logical or rational explanation for this conflict — since Japanese do not think in a logical, rational fashion, at least in western terms. If you look at Japanese TV ads, the first thing you’ll notice is that there are westerners in about a third of them. There are also half a dozen fluent Japanese speaking foreigners endlessly recycled on TV variety shows, constantly ingratiating themselves and amusing the Japanese enough to want them back.

They are part of a group called “tarento”. Their only real talent is speaking Japanese well, and many long term ex-pats see them as intellectual whores since they must go through the same problems others do, yet they know the rule of getting invited back is to never bite the hand that feeds them. Yet there are also periodically TV infotainment shows following the cops and catching those awful foreigners committing crimes in “our country”, with sinister background music shrieking away. Japanese youth generally show positive attitudes about you, from others there is often indifference. And then there is the racial question. Many people coming to Japan ask if the Japanese are racist and cold to westerners. The answer is not that simple. But it is no exaggeration to say that, bending the metaphor a bit, the Japanese see things through race-colored glasses.

It must be emphasized though that Japanese racism is in almost all cases NEVER HOSTILE towards others — so the idea of people screaming epithets at you like in the U.S. is inaccurate. (And lest you feel superior, you won’t find skinhead thugs or people in white sheets in Japan, and being a woman or minority religion or race might get you far worse treatment in many countries. Maybe even yours). For some young Japanese, having a western boyfriend/girlfriend is a status-symbol, but when things go deeper (especially for a western man/Japanese woman) some people’s attitudes can change dramatically. Suddenly the same people showering compliments to the Japanese with a western lover are asking if he/she is weird, or warning about terrible consequences. The attitudes from the Japanese parents may be even more disturbing. In short, it’s cool (kako-ii) to look western on a superficial level, but anything more serious often brings a negative reaction.

Nihongo Wa Jouzu Desu Neh!

Upon entering Japan you’ll soon discover an unusual trait of Japanese — they can both insult you and compliment you at the same time. One good example is that on top of a few Japanese “Love Hotels” (which are hotels decked out in glittery pink neon and rent rooms by the hour or night for obvious reasons) you will find a big Statue of Liberty. (photo) It may be flattering that such an American symbol is taken for “liberty”, but at the same time to see it on top of a sleazy hotel is a little disconcerting. In the same way, the westerner coming to Japan will right from the airport be drowned in the “compliment” Nihongo wa jouzu desu neh, or “Your Japanese is good”. It’s usually spoken in a “Look Mom, the horse can do math problems” kind of way — slightly condecending.

The problem with all this is that it is put on you a thousand times a day, every time you open your mouth, in exactly those same words — never once said in a different way. And the fact that it has nothing to do with your Japanese ability. In fact, the better your Japanese gets, the less you hear it. Even more demeaning is hearing “O-hashi wa jouzu desu neh” which means you can use chopsticks well. The fact that a 4 or 5 year old Japanese child is supposed to use them easily but you’re never expected to know how is an insult few Japanese are “international” enough to realize. To the Japanese, they are not consciously looking down on you, but rather trying to establish rapport through bombarding you with things they think you like to hear. It’s important not to get upset about this and just play humble by denying the praise over and over as they would.

All of that is relatively benign. The real problem is dealing with the occasional neanderthal where even if you’ve attained near native fluency they still have a “See-White-Face, Hear-Japanese, Does-Not-Compute” mentality, or the elitist complaining how you foreigners never bother to learn Japanese, and then you come along speaking proper Japanese and they insist in doing all communication in English. The reason being that more conservative types see language as race, and race as language, and when there is someone not part of the group suddenly among “us”, they unconsciously feel a threat.

Dealing with such Groupthink is going to be a challenge, but while you never have to like it you’re going to have to deal with it. Many Japanese view westerners on two levels — if you are taken as a temporary visitor, they nearly always treat you extremely warmly and helpfully; even lavishly. But if you are someone trying to become a member of society, there can be quite a different attitude. In contrast, other Asians are expected to pick up the Japanese language quickly, and there often is little tolerance for those that don’t.

The term “gaijin” according to the dictionary means foreigner or alien. In practice however, it always means “white person”. Japanese use a lot of discrimination — Chinese and Koreans are usually referred to by their nationality, not as “gaijin”, unless speaking in legal terms. [And whatever your complaints you may have, remember SE Asians have it far worse.] The gaijin = white person stereotype is so deeply ingrained into the Japanese psyche that when the Japanese go abroad they still refer to whites as gaijin, and despite using their passports, US dollars, and going through US Customs, they are still not consciously aware of Hawaii as being a US state. Even though all Japanese know Michael Jackson and Tiger Woods are from America, it still doesn’t dispel their notion that ALL Americans are blue-eyed blonds.

The term “gaijin” is not in itself pejorative (though it can be used that way), but when one Japanese tells another he’s doing something like a foreigner it’s a strong put-down. Many Japanese ex-pats who’ve lived abroad are viewed supiciously. If one’s English is “too good”, he might be ostracized. For Japanese children who’ve spent time abroad and can speak English fluently (kikoku shijo), bullying from classmates can be swift and cruel. There is one exception though — the Celebrity Factor. If one becomes a Japanese celebrity, singer, actor/actress, etc., then paradoxically all is forgiven. Then the cruelty is turned on its ear and you become a paragon of Japanese achievement. This all sounds contradictory, but the Japanese often follow such an irrational and unpredictable course.

March 24th, 2008

I’m not done sucking Japan’s tentacle just yet. Once more, with feeling.

The fashion here has it’s hits and misses, but the point that I think requires stressing is not that, but that of the average person. People here, on average, are much more fashionable that what people dress like in the wilds of North America. Every fashion trend that winds its way through Japan isn’t always the best (purple or yellow nylons are interesting), but even including that, it still easy beats Jesusland. Going one or two deviations from the norm can be met with disastrous results, true, but it’s such a train wreck that you don’t actually mind that much since it gives you the opportunity to see such a thing.

Speaking of Jesusland (or lack thereof), it’s quite the breath of fresh air to not have to deal with religion in the least. I don’t have to worry about a politician saying that atheists aren’t citizens or patriots, someone trying to get intelligent design into a classroom, or retards attempting to save the life of a vegetable. A lack of religion does not make Japan a place filled with people who care/understand science, but that won’t happen until the apocalypse, which I am patiently waiting for.

On a related note, boobs boobs penis. It’s nice to be in a place that doesn’t go absolutely apeshit over a something related to sex. Not only that, they have buildings whose entire purpose is the pursuit of climax and tons of magazines prominently displayed in convenience stores that seem to be about nothing other than sex. A place where little to no people actually think that if a child witnesses something sex related that they’ll be scarred because of it. Of course this isn’t true even though so many people believe it despite zero proof. Although, there are tertiary effects of being young and happening to catch a steamy scene in a movie; your parents could argue about it and do more damage than the love scene could have ever done.

There could be something I’ve missed, but I think you get the point, there’s a lot of good things to be found here. When you point out smaller things that you don’t prefer but never talk about the big picture it can make those minutiae look much more substantial than they actually are.

March 21st, 2008

Less than a week. The knowledge that I won’t be here so soon always looms. But why do I want to stay. What are the reasons? They’re not some ethereal reasons that I can’t put my finger on, mostly, which is good for blogging. This post may seem like deja vu if you have an excellent memory, but it’s not.

The diet in Japan (Japan not being a part of America, like everywhere else that isn’t America), although scary at times, is quite good at what it does. Now, I’m not talking about the older diet that they had before recent times, but the current diet. Yes, there is a rising worry about overweight children because of McDonalds and their brethren, but people here are more fit than what I’m used to. This is what things should be like and you don’t really know there’s an issue unless you live in/move to somewhere sans America.

An anecdote: I’ve lost some weight when I first arrived in Japan and I was expecting that. When multiple variables move from a less healthier diet to a healthier one you reasonably expect some weight loss. However, I haven’t weighed myself for around a year, if not more. Recently I was wondering my weight for no reason than the last time I weighed myself was such a long time ago. My expectation was to be around what I was before, which I only had a faint memory of - this wasn’t close. After getting the scale to work, I found out that I had inadvertently lost a lot of weight (I’m now 71.3kg), even including my winter hibernation (less activity and more eating). Now, my current eating habits are not very good, so if one were to actually try to lose weight in this country (or any number of other countries) it might seem like a crash diet to someone back home. Yes, it’s true that some women here do go overboard and strive to be way too thin like people in many other places do, but this really has nothing to do with the effectiveness of the diet.

The food scene is Japan is nothing short of amazing. I was happy when I had some cuisines from other countries in DC, but the sheer number of great places to choose from is astounding. Immigrants (forced or not) from Korea, China, India, and other places have helped the establishment of restaurants of those countries cuisines. Include the Japanese obsession with food (you can start to understand it if you have watched Iron Chef) and you get a great combination. I’ve gone to a bunch of restaurants in Osaka and many of them were quite amazing. They don’t have everything, Mexican is available but sorely lacking, but what they do have is great.

The police here are nice, if you don’t want to say neutered. Most of the time their job involves something bicycle related, but sometimes they actually do something a little more important. But this really isn’t the reason I like them, it’s because they are nothing at all like America. Now, it’s not like Japan is a bed of fucking rose petals, it’s not; but having been around officers, their actions and attitude are startlingly different than one might see on COPS. Even their definition of crackdown is different. Weed? No swat team, no MP5’s, no silent raid. They knock on your door and ask you to come to the station to talk, that’s all (most of the time). What happens next could be severely bad for your future - signing a confession equals time - but you’re not worried that they’re going to shoot or taze you.

The transportation system in Japan gets props from just about everywhere else. As opposed to a country where it’s possible to do without a car in only a few locations due to suburbs and a lack of any decent mass transit (guess the country?), Japan is heaven. Not only have I spent my time here carless (though I did ride in a car two times) there was never a time where I wished I had a car, it really is that unnecessary. From where I am, I can go pretty much anywhere I want to in this country without needing a car; and this time isn’t wasted waiting endlessly for busses or trains (which are extremely punctual compared to some places).

If you live more in the country it does become an important item to own, but it’s not required until you go very far out. There are many suburbs here that are still quite walkable (and definitely bikeable) given their layout. That the areas that have been built recently are not so suburban as America/Canada/UK is something to be thankful for.

So yes, there are some reasons, but maybe there are some more as well?

March 19th, 2008

Suffice it to say, I think that a lot of you actually think that I don’t really like it here. I fully understand why someone might think that about me given the information they would have accumulated from this blog. Nonetheless, their position would be wrong; this can be shown with no extra evidence. Yes, it’s true, I do negatively talk about a lot of things. Sometimes for good reason and sometimes because of my opinion/take.

My future
I’ll think you’re a better country if you give me lots of money and comfort women.

Part of the reason why I may sound like such an old coot is because I am quite particular, while at the same time allowing for ranges to exist. This may seem quite nonsensical, and it probably is, but it’s what I do. Example, I might not like the 80’s rocker look that been happening while I’ve been here, a girl with big teased hair, huge sunglasses and similar things associated with that look (no hot tub limousines), and I may mention my dislike of this type of fashion, but I don’t mind it so much that I increase pressure on my eyeballs until they cave in. And besides, this isn’t really much of a complaint anyways.

There are some bigger complaints that I do have, such as the conformity and political apathy, but these are still understandable to me. The thing is, one cannot say that just by talking about these and expressing a want of change that I am indicating a dislike towards Japan, that would be manifestly untrue. The desire for change demonstrates the wish for that thing to become better. I recently heard a quote that talks well about this, but I have forgotten the quote and it’s location on the mass of tubes. Luckily, I still know what is essentially said: those who criticize do so not because they loathe that object, but because they like it and long for it to transcend these criticisms.

Furthermore, I stayed longer than a year, tried to get a different job (sooner than is realistically possible for someone in my position), and stayed even though I’m not really working and have no recourse for working in Japan unless if I pack up and move to another prefecture. So Japan is not a perfect country, but then nowhere is.

I’m leaving here in a week and it’s a much harder thing to do than I originally expected. How about that.