Do pyros dream of flaming, screaming sheep begging for death?

Dr. Shirwetcz: “How are you doing today Fudo?”

Fudo: “Better I think.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “That’s good to hear. Have you been keeping your condition in check?”

Fudo: “Sorry Doc. I’ve been on a binge lately. But I’ll stop, I promise.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: (Sighs) “What did you do this time?”

Fudo: “Well…. my friend has been feeling bad recently. I told him that I could cleanse him to make him feel better.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “Cleanse?”

Fudo: “Yeah. I got in my tree-house and swung around a big stick. I told my friend that this would make him feel clean again.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “That’s a little odd, but I see nothing wrong with that. How does this have anything to do with your condition?”

Fudo: “Whoops. Forgot about that. The stick that I’m waving around……… is on fire.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “Great mericiful tentacle monster! Why the hell did you do that?”

Fudo: “It’s not like I put the fiery stick of purification on him. I just shook it over him and some embers fell on him.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “And this somehow makes it OK?”

Fudo: “Don’t yell at me, he’s the one that wanted cleansed.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: (muttering) “Why did I agree to take a pyro as a client? I should’ve listened to mother.” (/muttering) “Is your friend OK?”

Fudo: “Mostly. He’s purified, but he was wearing a polyester shirt. The ensuing fire melted the shirt to his skin. If only I was so lucky.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “Oh my. How does he feel about this?”

Fudo: “He’s thankful. He said I have given his life direction. Maybe I should help more people by cleansing them.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “I’m not so sure that would be a good idea. Remember what happened last time you tried to help someone?”

Fudo: “I was just trying to be efficient. Besides, Mrs. Nakamura didn’t tell me how to do the job, she just said to get rid of all the brush, so I did.”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “True, but you can’t just go around burning mountains to clear them of brush. Is your court date set?”

Fudo: “Not yet. I’ll find out Wednesday. Mrs. Nakamura always seems really upset. Maybe I should cleanse her too?”

Dr. Shirwetcz: “I’m not sure she would like that. Maybe you could just get get some chocolates instead?”