If I die, I hope it’s because a kid stabbed me and then wore my head as a hat while he was breakdancing.

So, if you didn’t know, the murder rate is low, appallingly low, in Japan. In fact, it is so low that the suicide rate is 50x higher. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone is jumping off buildings or taking massive doses of sleeping pills, it’s just that the murder rate is so low (~.5 per 100,000).

Even so, the murders that happen here are, many times, spectacular. If you are murdered in Japan, there’s a good chance that your story will be quite interesting. You might’ve heard about this story. Teacher goes to a guy’s house and ends up dead, but it’s not over yet! She is the put in a tub on the balcony and covered in sand. And, if you read the article, you can see that the killer has yet to be caught. Then there’s this kid. I guess he didn’t like his mother? Or maybe he was just crazy.

So yeah, murder in Japan is interesting, but it doesn’t happen that often. The one annoying thing about a country with a low murder rate is what happens when there is a murder. Someone from another country hears about the murder. He then goes on to make a statement that amounts to “Aha! Japan isn’t a safe country. Someone died.” I see/hear this all the time from people that don’t live here when a spectacular murder happens.

Please people, don’t do this. You look retarded.