It must really suck to find out you pulled someone who likes your brother more than he likes you.

You know how I talked a little bit about ignorance? Well I’m going to give you another instance of it…… kinda?

This was told to me from someone in the middle of nowhere, Yamagata. Nice place, good people, short skirts (even in winter. The female stereotype there is that you don’t get a good college education, you get a nice short skirt). Anyways…… some businessman said that he had never met a gay person in his entire life; not a gay man that mentioned that he was gay, but that he never met anyone gay, never met anyone in the closet. That’s just, well, bullshit. But the guy does have a point. The gay scene exists in Japan, but it’s not the easiest thing to find. Why? That’s what I’m talking about.

Japan can be a little, well, conformist. Even when you don’t conform to a major style of fashion, you still pretty much conform to another group. I’m not saying that everyone can easily be pigeonholed, just that the borders are more defined. But this conformistish society leads to some things that are, for the most part, required. One of these things being carrying on the family name. We all how how this is done (hint: it starts with an M and ends with a bunch of other letters that aren’t M).

What does this mean for the guy that prefers hot dogs? It means a life stuck in a tiny space in your house, the closet. It’s not that they want to live life like this, but they pretty much have to. So they marry someone, not out of love, but out of duty, and probably have a child or two. This is not to say that they deny reality; in this respect, they are much more different (and, I think, interesting) than Westerners that are in the closet.

So they might, under cover of night, pick up a guy and have a little fun. This, of course, isn’t out in the open fun, it’s quite hidden. Our friend, the businessman, also helps things for those that enjoy the more… ummmm…. fudge-filled lifestyle. By looking the other way (be it out of ignorance or not), he helps keeps the gears of society lubed and running smoothly.

You can pick a country where you are technically allowed to come out, but, if you do, some people will consider you evil or not even a person. Some countries you’ll die if others find out. Then there’s the Japanese way, it certainly isn’t the best system for a gay man (that would be Europe or Canada, probably), but it’s much better than some places can be.

Which would you choose?