Who knew a man could have so many Hymens?

Some things have changed….. No, I did not get breast implants. No, I did not decide to become an artist whose medium is gummy bears and honey.

What did I do? I moved. Before I lived in Ikoma; Ikoma is nice, but it’s a “bed town” (the Japanese, and better, way to say a suburb). Although it was nice, it was missing one of two important factors: live where you work Or live where you play.

I started looking for a new place about a month after I moved here, so it took me a while to find a place. So where did I move to? Here. So now I’m living in Osaka. The area I’m living in is supposedly Namba, but the Sony service center near my house says Nippombashi. I’m not sure which is technically correct; to be safe, I’m going to say that I live in the taint (it’s probably correct to say that I live in Namba, but I really wanted to say that).

So what else did I do? I went to my first concert in Japan. Now my “first concert in Japan” hymen is broken. You should’ve seen the blood. I went to Shangri-La, which is a club that is surprising difficult to get to. I was a little late to the opening act, OOIOO, but I still caught most of their set.

I’m getting ahead of myself. I walk into Shangri-La and give them my ticket. I assume , correctly, that the two big doors in front of me will take me to the concert. So after I open the door, I move about one foot…. maybe. You’ve probably thought that you’ve been to a packed (indoor) concert, but you haven’t. Even though the concert was this packed, more people kept coming through the main doors and they somehow fit in. I’m not sure how (maybe Japanese people can shrink themselves?).

Some people (mostly Americans) tried to push their way through the crowd, to much disdain of the people around them. It was easy to tell that everyone was pissed at these people and so was I. Thank you Mr. pushy for making Japanese people hate foreigners.

After the opener, Deerhoof came on. Deerhoof, comprised of 2 white guys and a Japanese girl, is an interesting band. Their music is noisy and cute, which is quite the combination (and can only be done with the help of a Japanese woman). You might like them, unless your name is David Wang (he didn’t like the newest album, which means he doesn’t like Deerhooof).

It’s almost like you’re there and you forgot your glasses!

The drummer tried to speak Japanese, which made the Japanese laugh, and he managed to hit himself in the face with a drumstick, which made him bleed everywhere (probably from breaking his “being hit with a drumstick” hymen) during the last song. Good concert, I can hear out of my right ear again.

Pictures and more details of my new living situation will be on their way soon.