They use your testicles as those jingly ball toys and your legs as scratch posts.

It’s time for an issue that will make you feel like a manic-depressive (if you’re not already). Yes, this will be somewhat sad, but if you get sad take something that will make you happy. Things I recommend to remedy this sadness include: whiskey, cannabis, ecstasy (the state or the drug), kissing your pet turtle, punching a random douchebag. There are probably other ways that you feel are better for you personally (douchebags can be a dangerous target if you are made of sticks or candy cigarettes) so feel free to pick another way if you are so inclined.

Hands against the wall

Pets is an interesting subject when the given location is Japan. Many pets in Japan are mobile and go many more places with their owners than a pet in another country might. Although it might not seem like it, pets ride the trains often. I didn’t really know about this until I was coming home from work and the bag that was sitting next to be moved. Expecting the worst I readied by sword, fortunately the owner showed me that this was no threat, only a puppy. This isn’t even the most interesting way I’ve seen pets be transported. Pets can often be seen riding along in baby strollers, bicycles, purses, and on one occasion I witnessed a miniature dachshund in a backpack.

Pets here also seem to have had a surgery that makes sure that they never ever make any noise. The little dog on the train (whose life I spared) never made any noise the entire time we were on that train, even when the owner opened up the carrier and the steel heart melting bag of fur popped it’s adorable head out and curiously looked around its new environment. It’s probably not surgery, but I have a guess that it’s an asian only spell and I’m not re-rolling my character this late in the game for something like that.

I promise I won’t shit in your tea.

The majority of pet owners are quite good at raising their barking (or meowing) life-span lengtheners. However, some other things pet related in Japan are, well, quite not cute. Like everywhere else, Japan has it’s share of cat ladies and there are other people that have been known to abuse or abandon their pets; this is one of the reasons why I wish a place like hell actually existed. However, I don’t really think that these people are representative of any large swath of the pet owning population in Japan. Plus, I haven’t been able to find any statistics about the number of abuses in any country (though there are articles about abuses).

Another thing that plagues Japan is cats. They’re all over the place here and no one owns them. There’s one family of cats a block from my apartment, I see other strays every once in a while, and when I’m somewhere else in the city it isn’t uncommon to see a stray cat every once in a while. Partly, it’s because spaying/neutering wasn’t encouraged nearly as enough as it should have been and a number of cats were let go/escaped into the city. Now that they’ve reproduced many times we can’t put the cat back in the bag, literally.

Crazy fuckers can’t get me here.

This could be one of the reasons why abuses might occur here. The cats are alone and have no one that cares about them. Besides being caught and being a normal person, there isn’t any real problems with swiping and doing a bunch of sick things to a stray. No one is going to look for it and very few people will know about it unless you put it up on 2ch. Even given that, there’s still something very wrong with you if you have to mutilate cats to feel good about yourself. Can’t you do something else like autoerotic asphyxiation or buy a real doll?

The last issue is that of pet shops. For all intents and purposes they do seem quite normal, but they have some things that can only really come about through the insistence of かわいい (kawaii, cute) culture. From a young age, puppies are separated from their mothers so that they can sell as quickly as possible and make more money (puppies are cute). This isn’t good, but it really isn’t a bad thing per se. However, given the space limitations, they usually put each puppy into a tiny little cage. Not so bad for the tiny ones though since they usually can’t do too much anyways.

Does a brotha never get respect?

The problem is that animals that need more space tend to be either older or not as cute. These animals are still put in small cages and seem to be in a constant state of unhappiness unless if they decided to go to sleep because being unhappy is an exhausting activity. I’m not even sure why they have some of the animals that they do (some pet shops have monkeys, owls, fox looking creatures, and others). Sometimes I don’t want to buy the animals because I want it, but because I want to liberate it. I hope the monkey there doesn’t have rage.