Would you prefer your persecution tender or extra christpy?

KFC is the antichrist. I mean it. KFC is going to rule the world under one government and trick everyone into believing that Jesus is real (side note: if the rapture did happen, would anyone really NOT believe? this is why the book of Revelation is blindingly retarded). I say this because they have started their plan here in Japan. It starts by the importation of Christmas. After that, KFC convinces the populace that you must, MUST!, eat chicken during the Christmas holiday. You hear that Americans eat turkey? “Lies!” says KFC, “Just propaganda from Aum Shinrikyo.” (Did you think I was going to say communism? Ha! Communism is just a red herring.)

KFCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!

So now we have everyone in Japan believing not just that you must eat chicken, but it has to be a bucket of chicken, preferably from a white plantation owner who likes his wings extra crispy (but passes on the orange soda and watermelon). Everything is all falling into place. Now you can find buckets of chicken everywhere in Japan when it’s feeling quite solsticy (or is it solsticey?) outside. If we’re not careful, there will be the clone of Colonel Sanders ruling with the help of UN MAN. It chills me to the core. We must save ourselves from this unfortunate, but quite tasty, fate.