You do realize that when you walk into a 7-11 you are walking on to Japanese territory. Don’t believe me? Read the treaty made back in ’51 and get back to me.

You’ve probably heard that, while not the birthplace of convenience stores, Japan is awash with those wonderful little commercial islands of cool drinks and tasty snacks. Like everyone else in Japan, I frequent convenience stores and use money to buy things. If you were to learn Japanese and then read my receipts you would notice that I keep getting the same things. While these aren’t the only items that I get if I go to a konbini, but they might as well be; here they are in no meaningful order.

Pretz

You might think that these would similar to pretzels given the name but you’d be wrong, Mr. Wrongerson. These sticks are lightly toasted at then covered in, well, something. The two common flavors are roast (red box) and, my favorite, salad (green box). You get two packages in each box so there’s no need to eat them all at once, but I usually do.

Crunky

You say it’s just a chocolate bar, you say “Where’s the huge chalice?”, you flaunt your ignorance. Was Shaq just a basketball player? Is baseball just a sport with moronic liars who obviously use performance enhancers? Are penguins just midget spies? Of course all of these are more than they seem and this includes Crunky. It’s not a boring slab of chocolate and it has a different take on crunchiness than the infamous Crunch bar (the crunches are subtle so to not induce an earthquake). I’d almost buy a plane ticket just to come here and eat one but I’m already here.

Kansai Dashi Soy sauce Potato Chips

My favorite potato chips. I don’t think I like them because they’re linked to Kansai, but I could be wrong. I might like them because the flavor isn’t too heavy, but I could be wrong. It could be that someone managed to do what others were too scared to do (i.e. put fish stock flavoring on a potato chip), but who knows. The important part is that you can only really get them in the Kansai area and they’re always delicious. I feel like it’s just a big ploy by Calbee to stop me from moving.

Curry-man

The man up there isn’t referring to people but manju. The other flavors are tasty but I prefer the curry bun over those losers. I think the reason I like this one more is that I’m actually not a tall and white but just a shell for many, many tiny Indians.

Black Pepper Senbei

Senbeis are OK, but this one makes me leak sewage from my eye sockets because of it’s illegal deliciousness.

They’re full of calories and they’re messy, but that just means I have to make sure I don’t leave any crumbs.

You might not like any of these, but you’d have to come over here and try them first. I can tell already that you want to; it’s ok, I’ll loan you my spare bedroom.