Mochi is stick rice with an attitude so bad people feel the need to take up arms and beat it into a squishy, but tasty, pulp. After making it soft with a mallet of compliance, you grab your favorite Japanese topping (fish eyes for me), sprinkle some of it on and enjoy. If you’re eating mochi and there’s something else on/near it it’s probably one of Japan’s top 3 mochi toppings: anko (あんこ, red bean paste), kinako (きな粉, soybean flour), or oroshi (おろし, grated Japanese radish). If you don’t happen to find any of these as appealing toppings then you can use your blonde-haired western innovation and create new toppings. For a start, try honey or maple syrup.

This wailing on cantankerous rice usually occurs in December for one big reason, New Years. You might be surprised by this, but (contrary to what some people might think) Japan celebrates the beginning of a new year on January 1 and not how they do it in China; funny, no?

I lost the shell but I still have the leathery skin!

One of the main reasons they make and eat mochi at this time is to kill off a bunch of the older people in Japan, similar to Logan’s Run. They give them these tasty semi-small rice traps with the intent to kill and sometimes it works. However, you’re probably remembering that Japan has the highest average life-span (even though they have evil socialist trotskyite medicine) and now you’re trying to say that I’m wrong. No. The Japanese elderly are a crafty bunch; their doctor might say they’re going to give them a state of the art hip and actually give them 700g of gumption instead (it’s much cheaper) and yet those old people just won’t die.

Don’t go thinking that just because the younger generation is attempting to kill the oldies that there is a lot of animosity towards the youngies; they actually manage to have lots of fun while (most of the time) escaping from the clutches of squishy death. It’s all part of the circle of life and those old people know it.

You’re next, old man.

So what should you take away from this? Enjoy mochi, either the Japanese way or your own, and don’t grow old, ever. EVER.

The kanji 初 (はつ) means first and if you’re in Japan in January it’s likely you’ll hear it a lot. Some of them you might find obvious, so don’t hit me with your fist (or any other thing that’s hard). Also, make sure you append “of/for the year” to the end of each of these so I don’t have to write the same thing over and over again, it doesn’t look good from a design standpoint.

初音 (hatsune) – First sound
初空 (hatsusora) – First sky
初日 (hatsuhi) – First sunrise
初夢 (hatsuyume) – First dream
初姿 (hatsusugata) – First time wearing kimono
初湯 (hatsuyu) – First bath
初売り (hatsuuri) – First time selling goods
初釜 (hatsugama) – First tea ceremony
初詣 (hatsumode) – First temple visit
初場所 (hastubasho) – First sumo match
初花 (hatsuhana) – First blooming flower

There are other firsts that happen throughout the year, but pretty much all of the big ones happen in January, sometimes you’ll do many at the same time. Out of all of the firsts listed, the biggest/most important one is definitely hatsumode. Most Japanese people have their first temple visit within the first few days of the new year. In the Mie area, many people make their first temple visit of the year at Ise shrine because well, read about it.

The Ise Grand Shrine in Japan (which is actually a series of over 100 shrines) is the most sacred shrine in Japan. It is dedicated to Amaterasu (the Sun goddess) and has been in existence since 4BC. The main shrine is alleged to hold the most important item in Japan’s imperial history: the Naikū (the mirror from Japanese mythology which eventually ended up in the hands of the first emperors). The shrine is demolished and rebuilt every 20 years in keeping with the Shinto idea of death and rebirth (the next rebuilding will be in 2013). This ranks very high on the list of places you will never go because the only person who can enter is the priest or priestess and he must be a member of the Japanese imperial family. So unless we have a Japanese prince or princess reading the site, no one here will ever see anything more than the thatched roof of the Ise Grand Shrine.

I, being ever so Japanese, have not been to a shrine at all this year (even though it’s almost the second month of the year). I blame it on laziness, but it could always be some demi-god who wants to hold me down and keep me from reaching my true potential. I guess we’ll never know without the help of the Japanese ghostbusters.

Before the New Year is officially rung in, things can go a bunch of different ways. Some people will go to a bar (or club or whatever) and party until midnight/6, families will probably just stay home watching TV. Annoying, racist, cranky old men yearning for the past might have some special soba noodles (which is supposed to be a symbol of long life), but they will die when they eat hot mochi (餅, もち, they call it a rice cake, but it’s a chewy rice thing. sometimes there’s bean paste inside. it’s actually tasty); cranky man is dead (applause). Since celebrating beforehand is relatively recent, and is mostly catered to a young audience, the different stuff really happens sometime on and after January 1.

If Georgia O Keeffe was a chef.

People will usually go to a temple some time during the 1st. This is something that can’t wait for some people, so they’ll go to the temple right after midnight. They ring a bell and everyone starts a spontaneous, but well choreographed, dance. The next day they’ll begin to eat stuff from a big box. The stuff in this box is called osechiryori (お節料理, おせちりょうり) and it’s mostly just a bunch of little foods that each have a meaning. There’s a ton of them and I’m not going to tell you the meaning, but you can click and see for yourself.

Look at us. We mean something dammit!

New Years in Japan isn’t really a festival, but a bunch of little things that each have their own meaning (all good, except when you choke and die).